| From back in the dizay to now... |
[07 Jul 2008|11:35pm] |
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I haven't posted since November and I have no idea whether anyone reads this or not.
I just spent the last hour reading over soooo many entries that I wrote back in the dizay. 1. I am the biggest nerd ever. 2. I miss Mary Beth and our jokes so much. 3. I miss Andrew Jon Haynie so much. 4. SOO much has changed since high school (obviously) 5. I'm 21 now. :-)
The entries that I read started before prom... that was YEARS ago. That was when I still lived on Butwell, that was when my parents were still in Michigan, that was before the apartment, that was before Myrtle Beach, max the dog, and max the love of my life, that was before all my new friends and job, that was before Bryan and Nick... WILD. That was when I was truly happy with EVERY aspect of my life. And when I say every aspect, I honestly mean every single thing.
The only reason I wanted to go back and read some entries was not because I was bored, it was bc I went to Codys going away party last weekend and being around that family just brings back so many memories. I truly loved life then, and now... it's just silly. Everything was so simple, and yet we made it so hard. My family was great, school was great, my house was great, my boyfriend and friends were great... and yet we thought everything sucked and wanted to change things. How silly were we?!
It's been a minute since I updated on life and things... and really, I don't even know where to start right now... Hell, I don't even know if anyone logs onto livejournal anymore, I know I certainly don't. But it's whatever. Reading over everything, I have grown up so much, and I have learned so many things and its crazy. I'm still best friends with the same people, Megan, Katlin, sometimes DB, Nick, Dave. I've drifted apart from some people that I wish I hadn't, but it happens. I noticed a trend though... It started with Dave. I just text him like 30 seconds ago and told him how huge of an impact he has had on my life since I've met him. I know its because he was my first love, and we did share an amazing connection. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be my first love. I still love him, and I still adore him, and I thank God everyday that he is still in my life. He was in Vegas for a few years and we had plenty of time to grow up, and now that we have you'd think things would change... Not at all. I saw him the first day he was back in town a few weeks ago, and it was like I saw him a month ago... it was fabulous. Sure we've had our huge fights where we didn't talk for months, but I know he'll ALWAYS be there for me when I need him. He's one of the most fantastic men I've ever known in my life, I don't think I can say enough wonderful things about him. And as I type this, I'm sitting here texting him telling him basically what I wrote and he doesn't understand... Nobody can ever understand how special he is to me, not one person.
Also, as I read through some of the entires another name that seems to appear quite a few times is Andrew Jon, AJ, Haynie, etc. Now that is a whole different story. We had a great relationship... sure it was super silly and ridiculous from time to time (and mostly bc of me and my retardness) but it's whatever. I love that I had that long term relationship with someone that was so understanding, and caring, and silly, and sexy, and put up with all my bullshit. It was great. He refuses to speak to me now, and lives in Wyoming doing God knows what, but he's staying out of trouble and he's safe now... that's all that matters. I'm sure one day I'll have that guy again who adores me just as much as AJ did.
It's been hard with school, work, my parents in Florida, paying bills.. basically growing up and being 21 now. I'm struggling, like everyone is at the moment, but I'm hanging in there... at least trying too. It might be the time though to make my move and peace out to Florida. I can go to school anywhere, apparently I can get a kick ass job anywhere and everywhere down in Florida, I won't have crazy bills to pay once I live with my parents, I'll be with my dog, IT'LL BE WARM ALL THE TIME... It's just leaving. I mean, we're all turning 21 now and it's supposed to be the time of our lives, and I think I should be living it completely different than I am now. This time last year I thought I had everything planned out for the rest of my life. Obviously, that didn't work, and now... I have no idea. It's scary as hell.
Right now, I just want some kind of stability in my life. I'm an only child, and I had that stability for my entire life... and then one day POOF! It was gone. If I just had one thing that was a constant in my life, I'd be able to handle life and the crazy things that seem to happen.
I need to stop before I get too deep about things.
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| RIP |
[27 Nov 2007|10:13pm] |
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I haven't updated in a million years and today seems like a grea time to do it.
Soo, I found out Monday that my friend OD and died. I had partied with him a few times, and he took me out a couple times, but thats about it. Today was the funeral.
It was the craziest thing I had ever seen in my life. There were at least 400 people there, and 300 of them had to be his friends. And every single person was crying... He was only 21 years old. Nobody knew that he was involved with all of this bullshit... or maybe they knew, but they didn't know the extent of it.
He called a few weeks ago, and I never called him back. I feel like an ass.
I'm like my mother... I want to help everyone that I care about. It's this awful trait that I inherited that kicks me in the ass everyday. However, I couldn't say or do anything to help him. I could've at least called him back... I suck.
I have mixed feelings about this situation... I don't know how to say it without sounding like a bitch, so I'll stop now. :-)
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[08 Jun 2007|02:01pm] |
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I decided to go to Florida this morning.
I leave tomorrow morning.
I just need to see my mom and Penni, and be by myself so I can think for a few days.
I love you.
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| Fuck you. |
[15 May 2007|11:47pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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That was the worst fucking birthday of my life. Praise the Lord that it's over.
Now Florida Thurs.
Fuck Florida.
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| Balls. |
[11 May 2007|12:40am] |
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Dale Earnhardt Jr is leaving DEI b/c he hates his step mom. I HATE him for doing this to me.
My Birthday is in 4 days.
Florida is in 6.
I'll be 20.
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| sooo... |
[08 Mar 2007|09:25am] |
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aggravated |
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music |
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ipod |
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Florida was fun. It was hot, and I got to see Penni.
The Mafia was in town for the weekend, and it was a non stop party. Canada was included, and that was a BLAST. Way too much fun for our own good.
Now I'm hating my life until school is over.... balls.
Back to school....
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| PENNI! |
[23 Feb 2007|12:49pm] |
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Florida = 2 days.
And then I get to see my PENNI!!!!!!!
Party tonight, and tomorrow night.
4 days with Bry in Floridaaaaaaa.
Next Saturday = Canada.
I HATE packing.
Over it.
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| Bastard. |
[20 Feb 2007|09:30am] |
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bitchy |
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music |
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ipod time |
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Talk about a heartbreaker.
I log onto facebook, and the kid that moved into MY house changed his address so it says that on his page now.
I HATE IT. And the fact that he gets to live in the best place ever. Jerk.
I'm extremely grumpy today.
Florida = 5 days
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| I think it's time for an update... |
[30 Jan 2007|08:45am] |
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loved |
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living in a moment- ty herndon |
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Lets see...
My new phone is super sweet. The number changed as well, so if you don't have the new one, just comment and I'll send it to you.
-School is a piece of shit. Enough said.
-Snow is a piece of shit.
Florida w/ Bryan for Spring Break? YES. :-)
My mom figured out how to send pictures via phone now... it's horrible. The reason I say this is because she sends things like her new couch, or shoes... The only good thing is when she sends pictures of my little angel.
I just failed a pop quiz in Astronomy. YES, GO DANIELLE.
I actually have to go study now.
Kidding.
You know what's really fun? Reading my old journal entries from Junior year. Ha, I'm a nerd.
FIN.
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| Check this out |
[16 Jan 2007|03:34pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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Thats right bitchesssss.... that's my new phone. It's probably the coolest thing in the world.
That is all.
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| Weirddddddd |
[11 Jan 2007|09:36am] |
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I haven't updated in awhile... hmm.
New Years was balls. I didn't feel good at all, so I was completely sober the whole night and dealt with beligerent people and funny stories. However, it was a good time with the crew/Mafia. I think that entire weekend was one nonstop party actually. DAVE ADAMS WAS HERE, and it was probably the best few days of my life. ;-)
School is going to kick my ass this semester. Class every day... Mon, Wed, Fri- 10-1050, and then Tues, Thurs 8-915 and 11-1215. Then work every day. But it's ok... as soon as I get school/work out of the way for the day, it means I get to see Bryannnnnn. :-) Yep, the new love interest kids.
You know what's really cool? Taking 310 cans/bottles back and getting 31 dollars. Yeah... we party alot. You know what's ALSO really cool? Making a beer cap lampshade... while intoxicated in GP. LOVE IT.
BRENNA PELTON: YOU MUST CALL ME. I miss you LIKE WHOA. Call me sometime when your not working/busy. I want to see you and Little MIss Phoenix.
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| So... |
[02 Jan 2007|11:35am] |
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hungry |
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So partying with the mafia is the new cool thing to do.
Been there, done that... TWICE.
And now... work, for the first time in 14 days.
Balls.
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| I want to come home... NOW. |
[25 Dec 2006|04:01pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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I now have a Chanel purse in my possession. Yep, sure do.
I've been ready to come home since the day after I got here... I'm so incredibly bored it's not even funny anymore. I cannot WAIT to get home.
It's Christmas and its thundering and lightning outside... wtf. I'm just glad that there isn't any snow at home b/c if there was I'd for sure stay here longer.
I'm ready to party. And go to Canada. And State. And Frankenmuth.
Lets do it... Thursday.
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| Balls. |
[17 Dec 2006|11:45pm] |
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I'm leaving for Florida on Wednesday, and I haven't done a thing to get ready for it yet. I really want to go christmas shopping, but I can't because I can't take anything on the damn plane.
I'm getting sick... as I type this I have a fever, my head is exploding, my body is turning inside out... its bad news bears to say the least.
I'm going to be in Florida with the best boy in the entire world... well, one of them at least. And then I get to come home, and see my other half. AND hopefully spend New Years with the love of my life. SO PUMPED.
Christmas break is going to break me... someone is about to get hurt.
I GET TO SEE PENNI in 2 days. Can't even wait.
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| So about those pigeons... |
[10 Dec 2006|07:59pm] |
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So remember when we went to Canada and had way too much fun?
Yea, I do, and we're doing it next weekend.
WILD.
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| So let me tell you about last night... |
[28 Nov 2006|09:48am] |
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ipod |
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Actually, take a peek at facebook pictures. That pretty much explains it all.
HERE I GO TO CLASS! (promise.)
I'm about to dominate this govt test... and when I say dominate, I mean that its going to dominate me. :-/
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| Cya never! |
[21 Nov 2006|12:14am] |
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PEACE OUT BITCHES.
FLORIDA.
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| Drama drama drama... |
[14 Nov 2006|09:45pm] |
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Florida= 7 daysssssss
So excited! I get to see PENNI! And get my new Chanel bag... :-)

SO EXCITED!
We partied for the last time in my house on Saturday.... it was wild.
That is all.
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| Goodbye house... |
[28 Oct 2006|05:20pm] |
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john mayer |
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So I just went to my house... it is empty. Yes, there are still things here and there that my mom left for whomever is moving in, but nontheless empty.
It was the weirdest feeling EVER. I went through every cupboard, every drawer, everything.
As soon as I pulled into the driveway I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't think it would be THIS hard.
EVERYTHING happened in that house. I grew up in that house. From my first birthday with my entire family before everyone hated eachother, my grandma and grandpa, my Max, Katlin and I playing everywhere in the house while it was being remodeled, having my bday party with pony rides on the front lawn, playing in the giant piles of leaves every year with Megan, ALL THE WAY to starting middle school, being able to ride a bus to school, starting high school... with Dave, and Andrew. Then graduation, and trips with the motorhome, to moving all my gear out to this appt... and then them peacin out.
I could barely stand to go in my room... let alone the spare bedroom. That's where EVERYONE hung out. First kiss, being able to have a guy stay the night for the first time, the list goes on and on. It's so fuckin weird to think that we'll NEVER live in that house again. The house was sold. However, the person that bought it backed out. So now it's just chillin. It's a good thing for me b/c I can go there whenever I want and hang, AND do laundry. So that's a plus. To bad it's not summer b/c then we'd be extremely set. Oh Lord my pool... and my Maxie. And my Penni. My stars are still on the ceiling in my old room. I'm supposed to take them down, but I'm not going to. I went the day before they moved and took pictures of the emptiness... I can't put them up yet.
My Max.... my angel man. That's the one thing that I cannot stop thinking about. I got him in that house. He grew up in that house. He didn't even know my appt, or the new motorhome so much. He did however know the new house in Florida... that was the last place he was. And now my Penni is gone... I know I'm ridiculous, but they're my life. They're my babies.
Everyone always associates me with living on Butwell, with the giant pool in the backyard. And now... nope cya later bye. I've been in the worst mood all week, and I thought it would help if I went to see it.. but I think it just made it worse.
We're supposed to be going to some Halloween party tonight... but I don't even want to. I haven't wanted to all week, but I'm going b/c these people do not realize that it's going to be shady. Whatever.
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| What had happened was... Pt. 2 |
[22 Oct 2006|09:05pm] |
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sore |
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tigers |
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Dawn of the Dead is on TV right now, and I'm home by myself. I should NOT be watching this.
Wild Weekends are well... wild. Still. Check out facebook for some sweet pictures.
My parents are peacin out Wed. Yea, weird, I know.
Another long week of school/work... then Wild Halloween Weekend partyyyyyyy in the black hole.
I misses my bitchesssss. ;-)
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